Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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