Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
