There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
