Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
