My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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