im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize