sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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