FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize