winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
