a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
