apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
