I'm jealous of your bromance
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
