I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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