me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
