stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
