I just cut my nipple shaving
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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