brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
