I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We need to rekindle our bromance
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
