happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
