Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
