We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
