why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
