i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize