People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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