I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
