is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
