god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
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I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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