Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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