At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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