I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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