I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
