Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
