I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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