I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
