i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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