I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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