sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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