It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
