Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you had me at cake vodka
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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