therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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