he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize