He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
