i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
