AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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