So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
