My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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