ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
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I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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