No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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