Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
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Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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