and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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