just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize