At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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