i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
