i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He felt like a one man threesome
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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