She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
