I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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