Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
