U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
