i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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