Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
